The Four Important Steps To Get Over A Break Up

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The Four Important Steps To Get Over A Break Up - By: Ian Jefferson, Posted on: 2007-07-21

Breaking up is never easy. It doesn't matter if you are the one doing the breaking up or if you are on the receiving end. Break ups are painful even if it is only because of the other person's pain or just the discomfort of a major change. Suddenly you may feel that you are ALONE. There is no lonelier feeling than suddenly being alone and feeling that you will be that way forever. While break ups can be painful, there are some ways to ease the pain and get on with your life. The world does not stop, that is true, but you can take some time out for yourself. These steps will help you recover.

Patience

Patience is a key step in break up recovery. You have to be patient with your own feelings, your grief and your pain. So, go ahead and cry, scream, do whatever you need to do, but be patient that these feelings will eventually pass. At some point you will realize that you no longer hurt, you are no longer angry and you can face the world with no baggage. Don't rush into another relationship right away. Use your patience to wait a while before becoming exclusive with someone new.

Flexibility

Give yourself some flexibility. You may plan on going out on Friday. All week long you are planning and talking about it, but when Friday rolls around you just aren't up to it. Don't carve plans in stone right away. Make flexible plans that can be modified or canceled at a moment's notice. You may plan to go out at 7 pm on Friday, but at the last minute you don't feel up to it until 9 pm or even not at all. Move at your own pace and listen to what your body and emotions are telling you. When you are ready, you will get back out into the world. Until then, do some therapeutic exercises such as writing to help you deal with your feelings.

Time

Give yourself time to grieve the break up. You may have some friends telling you to go right back out there and get back on the horse. You should not rush anything, especially getting into another relationship. Take it easy, don't rush, cry, be sad, be angry and give yourself time to feel these things and work them out. However, if your depression and funky mood don't pass in 2 weeks you should talk to your doctor because you may be experiencing a more major form of depression. Counseling can work wonders too. Don't rule it out.

Faith

You won't feel like this forever. At the time of the break up you may think that the feelings of sadness, hopelessness and anger will never go away, but eventually you will smile again. Eventually you will find someone who will make you forget all about whatshisname or whatshername. All you have to do is have faith that it will happen. Just believe.

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